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Ass of Iron Man
Jan. 22nd, 2018 06:51 pmTitle: Ass of Iron Man or The Hubris of Man
Author: dronesforhands
Pairing: belldom
Rating: teen for language
Summary: “A friend of mine and I played racquetball and he was walking up the stairs in front of me - speaking of if I’d ever been with a man - I had just beat him three games in a row, which I usually don’t - and I wanted to literally put my fingers so far into his ass that they would need to be excavated. There would need to be a dig. As it turned out, he was probably wearing some Kevlar boxers or something because I fractured the shit out of my finger.” - RDJ
Disclaimer: It’s fiction.
Author’s Note: Based off of an RDJ quote. This is for Nati.
Dom always seemed to be hanging around Matt’s house. He had a girlfriend, yes, and so did Matt, but more and more often they’d ditch them for some “guy time” together. They were each other’s best friends, after all.
Matt hadn’t used the tennis court all summer - in fact, he’d never used it at all. It was more for show, plus Elle used it as an excuse to look juicy in a tennis uniform. They’d never gotten to the court when she put on the practically-a-thong of a tennis skirt.
So who better to actually try out the tennis court than with Dom?
Matt asked him, and Dom smiled and nodded a yes. God, it was like he didn’t even know how to disagree.
An hour later and Dom was looking pathetically sweaty. He may have been incredibly coordinated with drumming, but other than that, he was about as uncoordinated as a over-enthusiastic mutt who ran into a fence chasing a ball. Matt was no professional either, but he had played a game or two before with his trainer. Other than that, Matt had never been much of the athletic type, and this was just plain sad. Every time he hit the ball towards Dom, he’d swing haphazardly as if he was trying to smash a fly. If Dom did manage to hit the ball, he would launch it out of the court. But, that damn smile hadn’t disappeared. It was irritating, really. Out here Dom was losing like hell, sweating like a pig, and he still had that same stupid grin. There must have been something wrong with him. Matt didn’t hold back as he straight up hurled the ball at Dom.
At least he had the decency to duck. “What was that for?” He shouted back, slightly chuffed.
Matt ignored him. “Let’s go inside, you keep losing anyways.” He wanted Dom to feel as annoyed as he did. If that meant picking a fight, he was more than fine with it.
Dom, back to his damn cheerful mood, headed back with Matt inside his house. It wasn’t a long walk, and Matt was more than happy to spend the time sulking silently at Dom’s glad acceptance of defeat, but Dom had to fill the void with conversation.
“You did great out there, you know. Must use this court everyday with the way you played.”
“Yeah right, you just suck complete ass,” Matt snorted. “I don’t play, not often. I’ve got nobody to play with.”
“What about Elle?”
“We mostly end up fucking before we make it to the court.”
“Can’t argue with that.” Dom chuckled. “Rayana is always jumping me anytime I’m home more than 30 seconds.”
His idiotic smile showed off his unnaturally white teeth. Matt stared for a moment at his damn perfect teeth with jealousy-fueled irritation. They made his own seem all the worse.
Matt tore his eyes away from Dom’s mouth before he could notice his hesitation.
“Probably cause you’re never home. You can’t leave a women all alone as long as you do. She’ll leave you soon enough,” Matt taunted. He left no holds barred; he was ready to start a fight.
Matt waited behind, expecting Dom to throw a punch, or at least a snappy response. But Dominic just kept walking up to the house.
“Maybe so.”
“You sound gay, mate.” Another taunt.
By this point, Matt was about to wring Dom’s neck like a chicken. He stomped after the source of his anger and brought himself ready to punch whatever his first landed on first.
He started up the stairs towards Dom, until he saw his target stop. His ass was about eye level, a seemingly perfect target for injury. Matt’s long fingers were pulled to Dom’s rear, enticed by the thought of pulling out his colon and choking Dom to death with the entrails.
“Have you ever been with a man?”
That was the moment that set Matt off. His hand shot forward as he jabbed as hard as he possibly could. As it turned out, Dom was wearing some Kevlar boxers or some shit, because Matt’s fingers broke like little twigs. It was pathetic, really, and Matt couldn’t lie, it did look pretty goddamn gay.
“Shit! What the fuck, Dom?” Matt hissed in pain. “Why the fuck would you ask that?”
“Why the fuck would you shove your fingers up my ass?” Dom yelled back.
“I don’t know! You were pissing me off!” Matt wasn’t in a mood to talk sensibly, but at least he finally got a rouse out of Dom.“Why do you have the ass of bloody Iron Man?”
“It’s called working out, Matt. Maybe you should try it some time.”
“Shut the hell up, and get me to a hospital.”
Dom didn’t stop grumbling about his rear as he ran up the stairs and returned with Matt’s car keys.
Three hours later, Matt emerged from the ER with a clunky looking splint holding his hand together. Of course, Dom was sitting in the waiting room, and lit up like a puppy as he saw that Matt was indeed alright. He eagerly stood up to meet the grumbling man.
“My hand’s broken.” Matt stated. He was ignoring Dom’s concerned gaze.
“I see. No gigs for you for a while,” Dom patted his back.
“Your ass alright?” Matt asked apprehensively.
“Always,” Dom flashed his blinding grin, causing Matt to groan.
They were silent for a moment as they made their way back to the car.
“Shouldn’t you call Elle?” Dom asked. “She might be worried, you know.”
Matt let out another groan. “Fine.” He pulled out his phone with his uninjured hand, and dialed with the pad of his thumb. “And before you ask again, yes.” Matt answered the lingering question.
“What?”
Dom heard Elle’s voice flood through the phone. Matt rested it between his shoulder and ear, and pointed with his uninjured hand to his splint.
“Yes,” He mouthed with a lift of his eyebrow.
“Knew it.”
Author: dronesforhands
Pairing: belldom
Rating: teen for language
Summary: “A friend of mine and I played racquetball and he was walking up the stairs in front of me - speaking of if I’d ever been with a man - I had just beat him three games in a row, which I usually don’t - and I wanted to literally put my fingers so far into his ass that they would need to be excavated. There would need to be a dig. As it turned out, he was probably wearing some Kevlar boxers or something because I fractured the shit out of my finger.” - RDJ
Disclaimer: It’s fiction.
Author’s Note: Based off of an RDJ quote. This is for Nati.
Dom always seemed to be hanging around Matt’s house. He had a girlfriend, yes, and so did Matt, but more and more often they’d ditch them for some “guy time” together. They were each other’s best friends, after all.
Matt hadn’t used the tennis court all summer - in fact, he’d never used it at all. It was more for show, plus Elle used it as an excuse to look juicy in a tennis uniform. They’d never gotten to the court when she put on the practically-a-thong of a tennis skirt.
So who better to actually try out the tennis court than with Dom?
Matt asked him, and Dom smiled and nodded a yes. God, it was like he didn’t even know how to disagree.
An hour later and Dom was looking pathetically sweaty. He may have been incredibly coordinated with drumming, but other than that, he was about as uncoordinated as a over-enthusiastic mutt who ran into a fence chasing a ball. Matt was no professional either, but he had played a game or two before with his trainer. Other than that, Matt had never been much of the athletic type, and this was just plain sad. Every time he hit the ball towards Dom, he’d swing haphazardly as if he was trying to smash a fly. If Dom did manage to hit the ball, he would launch it out of the court. But, that damn smile hadn’t disappeared. It was irritating, really. Out here Dom was losing like hell, sweating like a pig, and he still had that same stupid grin. There must have been something wrong with him. Matt didn’t hold back as he straight up hurled the ball at Dom.
At least he had the decency to duck. “What was that for?” He shouted back, slightly chuffed.
Matt ignored him. “Let’s go inside, you keep losing anyways.” He wanted Dom to feel as annoyed as he did. If that meant picking a fight, he was more than fine with it.
Dom, back to his damn cheerful mood, headed back with Matt inside his house. It wasn’t a long walk, and Matt was more than happy to spend the time sulking silently at Dom’s glad acceptance of defeat, but Dom had to fill the void with conversation.
“You did great out there, you know. Must use this court everyday with the way you played.”
“Yeah right, you just suck complete ass,” Matt snorted. “I don’t play, not often. I’ve got nobody to play with.”
“What about Elle?”
“We mostly end up fucking before we make it to the court.”
“Can’t argue with that.” Dom chuckled. “Rayana is always jumping me anytime I’m home more than 30 seconds.”
His idiotic smile showed off his unnaturally white teeth. Matt stared for a moment at his damn perfect teeth with jealousy-fueled irritation. They made his own seem all the worse.
Matt tore his eyes away from Dom’s mouth before he could notice his hesitation.
“Probably cause you’re never home. You can’t leave a women all alone as long as you do. She’ll leave you soon enough,” Matt taunted. He left no holds barred; he was ready to start a fight.
Matt waited behind, expecting Dom to throw a punch, or at least a snappy response. But Dominic just kept walking up to the house.
“Maybe so.”
“You sound gay, mate.” Another taunt.
By this point, Matt was about to wring Dom’s neck like a chicken. He stomped after the source of his anger and brought himself ready to punch whatever his first landed on first.
He started up the stairs towards Dom, until he saw his target stop. His ass was about eye level, a seemingly perfect target for injury. Matt’s long fingers were pulled to Dom’s rear, enticed by the thought of pulling out his colon and choking Dom to death with the entrails.
“Have you ever been with a man?”
That was the moment that set Matt off. His hand shot forward as he jabbed as hard as he possibly could. As it turned out, Dom was wearing some Kevlar boxers or some shit, because Matt’s fingers broke like little twigs. It was pathetic, really, and Matt couldn’t lie, it did look pretty goddamn gay.
“Shit! What the fuck, Dom?” Matt hissed in pain. “Why the fuck would you ask that?”
“Why the fuck would you shove your fingers up my ass?” Dom yelled back.
“I don’t know! You were pissing me off!” Matt wasn’t in a mood to talk sensibly, but at least he finally got a rouse out of Dom.“Why do you have the ass of bloody Iron Man?”
“It’s called working out, Matt. Maybe you should try it some time.”
“Shut the hell up, and get me to a hospital.”
Dom didn’t stop grumbling about his rear as he ran up the stairs and returned with Matt’s car keys.
Three hours later, Matt emerged from the ER with a clunky looking splint holding his hand together. Of course, Dom was sitting in the waiting room, and lit up like a puppy as he saw that Matt was indeed alright. He eagerly stood up to meet the grumbling man.
“My hand’s broken.” Matt stated. He was ignoring Dom’s concerned gaze.
“I see. No gigs for you for a while,” Dom patted his back.
“Your ass alright?” Matt asked apprehensively.
“Always,” Dom flashed his blinding grin, causing Matt to groan.
They were silent for a moment as they made their way back to the car.
“Shouldn’t you call Elle?” Dom asked. “She might be worried, you know.”
Matt let out another groan. “Fine.” He pulled out his phone with his uninjured hand, and dialed with the pad of his thumb. “And before you ask again, yes.” Matt answered the lingering question.
“What?”
Dom heard Elle’s voice flood through the phone. Matt rested it between his shoulder and ear, and pointed with his uninjured hand to his splint.
“Yes,” He mouthed with a lift of his eyebrow.
“Knew it.”
